Always Usually Lose
Today I’m voicing my opinion on why women are each other’s biggest obstacles and why if we could live by the rules of Guy Code and support each other, we would, as a sex, be far better.
The advantage is ours. We outrank males on so many levels. Women are the smarter gender: we invest better, we tolerate pain better, we live longer and healthier lives, we are cleaner, and a recent study has even revealed that we are evolving more beautifully while men are staying the same.
To me this news as nearly as exciting as pulling a pair of jeans out of the dryer and finding a five dollar bill in the pocket – talk about a score! YES to found money and YES to being female! Unfortunately though, with all the things we excel in, there are a still few things men not only beat us in, but women will never be able to overcome.
The most obvious advantage men have is strength, however this really isn’t a problem as women, being the smarter sex can easily convince a man to move any heavy object when needed. Let’s face it, even a smart man who knows he is being manipulated will allow this to happen if he enjoys any aspect of the female. From looks to conversation, if a guy is intrigued, he most likely will willingly help the physically weaker sex out and if not because he is interested in the female, because his ego will kick in and he will assist with the heavy lifting simply because he is able and likes to prove it. If not interest or ego, the guy will assist because he is a gentleman and holds his own set of standards. EASY!
The real advantage men have, however is GUY CODE.
Guy Code/Man Law/Bro Code/Man Etiquette is a universal, innate understanding, shared amongst men all over the world. By the laws of Guy Code, men do not provide any information that could ever incriminate their male friends when questioned, they never betray their male friends, a wrestling match or rock-paper-scissors can truly be used to settle an argument without that argument resurfacing hours or days later, and most importantly, a guy will never go behind another guy’s back to his mother, girlfriend or wife, to talk about a problem he has with the other.
Ladies, here’s the kicker – guys never have to be told that these are the rules as they are born knowing them! If we are truly the smarter gender and we aren’t born with Girl Code and yet still have understood that we’d need to create our own code, how in the world did we come up with Girl Power, rather Chick Code? How have we not taught ourselves not to hate other women because of their size and shape, or to control our natural, jealous, envy-filled, other-women hating instincts? Holy Cow – we are our own worst enemies!
Here’s where we fail ladies: We, all of us, are at times jealous of other women and we let that jealousy get the best of us.
Of course there are some of you who will immediately deny the statement above and I can tell you, honestly, that you are only fooling yourself. Even if you rarely get jealous, or behave in that irrational way that is known as “typical female”, and even if you have many female friends and a strong base of male friends who tell you that you’re the most sane female they’ve ever met, you are still guilty of not having Chick Code and you have still been threatened by another woman at some point and done one of the following:
- Called a woman who is clearly not overweight “fat” and “ugly” because she has somehow upset the balance of your fragile emotional self
- Gossiped with your friends about how another female received a promotion, was hired for a job, graduated early, affords things you cannot, is married while you are not, is more successful than you, is dating a guy you wish you were dating, is pregnant or has a family when you do not, or in general possess something you wish you had.
- Displayed passive aggressive behavior – posted confrontational or rude statements intended for another female to view on Facebook, Twitter, or other forms of social media, forgotten a females coffee order when you offered to pick up coffee for the group, or any otherwise expressive, aggressive behavior in a non-assertive, subtle way.
- Intentionally undermined another woman’s self-confidence
Now before you female readers get mad and start calling me names and saying I’m the reason women are held back in this world, take a minute to remove your emotions, think about this logically, and keep reading.
It is our hotbed of insecurity issues that makes our estrogen-laced gender the weaker sex and why we, as intelligent females need to throw away the days of Girl Power and adopt a more stable set of gender laws: Chick Code. If we cannot learn to control our jealous and envious tendencies, and truly support other females in their achievements and found happiness, we will forever be the lesser gender. It’s time, as females, we stand beside each other, not allowing pettiness to come between us. It’s time we acknowledge our own insecurities and stop our passive aggressive, social networking, name calling posts.
It’s time we stop incriminating our own sex, stop calling a foul when someone legitimately out plays us, and learn from their moves, rather trying to belittle them.
If we aren’t going to challenge our female friends to an arm-wrestling match to settle our differences, then we need to accept defeat when a female ‘levels up’. If we cannot that easily move forward, we need to invent our own pissing-match tiebreaking method. I personally suggest a kicking contest because I’m good at it, but I’m game for whatever you ladies prefer. I’m a winner and I keep proving that each time life knocks me down and I not only get back up, but also rise above my previous status. I’ll accept any challenge presented, but I’d like to rise to the top alongside other great females. It’s possible ladies – look at the US Women’s National Soccer and Volleyball Teams and The Radio City Rockettes. If these groups of women can complete their seasons as a team and be successful, so can we as a gender.
Girl Power has proven to be ineffective. I’m offering up a new strategy called Chick Code, who’s in?